Today I am rejecting the notion that life is all about finding the "perfect Little Black Dress."
I'm not doing this to be cranky - honestly I'm not. I adore beautiful clothes, probably too much, and I like to own nice things. I don't like to shop, but that's not what this is about either.
The holidays are coming, and if you were an alien coming to Earth the first time, you would think that all American women care about is analyzing their bodies, finding their "flaws," and then finding the perfect black cocktail dress that hides those flaws while making them appear younger, thinner, happier, wealthier.... And then you can check "Find the Perfect LBD" off your to do list.
I confess that when we lived in Denver, I had a wonderful black dress - good length, long sleeves, neckline that looked great with a necklace. But I remember the exact moment when I wore it to a company Christmas party, looked at myself in a full length mirror and noticed my formerly-model's-legs had gotten bigger (hello – lump bigger legs in with the "I've had two kids" tummy and "I hate to exercise" flabby arms). I never wore that dress again, and until this year, didn't wear short skirts anymore either.
Some of the blogs I read for fun are about fashion and/or style. And I get so easily sucked into thinking that knowing how to tie a scarf 40 different ways, dressing for my body type, and the "when you find something you like, buy it in every color" wardrobe theory is totally where it's at. I do covet a Hermes bag like Grace Kelly made famous...I admit it!
But my life HAS to be about more than that (or less, depending on how you look at it). It has to be!!! When I pare down my life to breathing in the smell of snow, patting my dog's head, smiling at someone in the Walmart checkout line just because they're standing there being a person, doing laundry so I at least have something clean to wear to work (admittedly, I have the kind of job where I could wear the same thing every day and no one would even notice), tell my husband I love him or ask him about his day....all the simple things of my life now, I am happier, more peaceful, and less worried. Isn't that what we want? Often we make our lives more complicated and stressful than they have to be. Sometimes stuff happens that's out of our control, but I think we have to admit that there are choices that entangle, and there are choices that bring freedom. I want to make decisions that make me more free. And searching even five stores for that perfect little black dress doesn't sound very free to me.
And if I do get invited to a holiday party, I want my fancy clothes to be like they are in Narnia - my most comfortable clothes! My 20-year-old black velvet skirt has an elastic waist, for instance - that will come in handy!!!
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